Japan

Kansai landing hi hi. Do you speak English? No no. Where did all the Chinese people go? Nice. Clean. Etiquette. Hello Nozomi! Osaka octopus balls cooked by Marvin Gay & things are looking good. iPhone arigato. Cat hat hard rockers are our new friends. Capsule hotel locker this locker that. Cosy space age 70's futurism. Smoking salaryman grease their hair naked in the basement. Shin-Osaka bullet. A bullet that lost a bit of steam headed for Naoshima. Shouldn't every tychoon have an Art Island?Hiro coffee in the basement of Hanyku the best I'll get. Hiro the best host. Imported walnuts in my pancake. Benesse House. Art. Proper Art. Andao- lots of. Island. Shopping bikes to the sound of Buddy Holly. Asahi. Brazilian girl at Kengo Kuma, not Toyota. Corinthians. Provincial Sushi. Sakae. Ferry again. Andao. Prolific. Giant Ball in a big space. Religious. Chi Chu. Monet. Breathtaking. Pause. Platonic form. Buried. Budget & Quantity Surveyors *ignore*. Only perfection will do. Pumpkin on the beach (sculpture not food) James Turrell x 2. Contemplate. Sensory. Light light. Light dark. Village box. Light I'm blind. Eyes adjust. Slowly. Kind of nice I don't understand Japanese. Elephant in the bath. Goodbye Naoshima- it's been off the tits.

Shinkansen 500kph blazing towards Kyoto. Hello temples, hello low rise city. It's been a while. Hotel Kanra. Small, perfectly formed. Fuck I spilt the tea. Cyprus bath. Black taps, but it works. Chair with the legs cut off. Ohhh a real bed! Christmas treat! Fake geisha tourist blah blah. Beef shabu shabu over the river wah wah. Jazz bar. Non accidental hipsters. Soju. Christmas day. Golden temple. I don't even like gold but god that's amazing. No one buys a tie from the vending machine at the bus stop. We forget to mention we don't eat Cod testees for Xmas dinner. You could feed a family of four for a week for less than these 10 courses. Sashimi melt. Mmm. Sakae bought by a Pachenko parlour owning Japanese buddha santa on Christmas Day. Cycling in the snow. Fake Andao. Hello B&B Keiko. A B&B that doesn't serve breakfast is a pretty good concept actually. Bakery items. Paper screen walls in minus 2? No visible fixings. How do you cook only an egg yoke and leave it runny? Imperial palace run. Kimono bargains. Mondrian saddle? I'll hold out for Tokyo. No, we don't have car parks like this.

 

Fuji framed in a Shinkansen window. Fuji wow pt.1. Gone so fast. Hello lake Kawaguchiko. Goodbye Mt. Fuji- lost in a descending cloud. Goodbye our budget. Onsen. Hot Onsen bath on the balcony of a room looking at a cloud. Leopard print blankets on a massage chair. Snow, lit up by a bonsai tree. Another 10 course kaseikai (or something) dinner. Kobe beef lightly sizzled in my butter. Melts in my mouth like butter. Scallop sashimi a bit fruity. Running in the snow. Japanese breakfast to beat all breakfasts.

Tokyo Shinjuku. Are all the buildings like this? Spaghetti subway. Help. Assistance required. 60 exits. Survive. London is a village compared to this. Hong Kong is a distilled idea of transport perfection. Hello homeikan. Ginza okonomoyaki from a mini pan for 35 years. I look a little bit like Beckham? Missed the boat. Annual review pt.1 in a deserted ferry terminal. Hello manga ferry / Jicoo floating bar. Hello hipsters! Goodbye money. Japanese breakfast losing its appeal. There are no lessons to be learned from the Vienese as far as coffee is concerned. Roppongi hills. Political manga porn Art with a capital A. Roosevelt is a giant pink cock. 12 year old girl destroys America! Japanese Bin Laden. Art. Globalism sucks. So does the rain. Prada by Hedgehog is almost as mind blowing as the prices. Omotesandu Hills (cash cow Andao) is dry. Dog boutique. Human baby or dog baby? Fixed gear hipster shop is shut. Shit. Shibuya shibuya shibuya. Sleep. May I kiss your husband at new year? Mini lorry, maximum market. Tsujiku fish fish fish. Sashimi will never be the same. I can now die happy. Stock up on mini Asahi & Sakae. Shinto shrine Asakusa NYE. A cross between a religious fairground and a Chinese railway station. New Year dash to pray. New Year's Day ghost town. Even McDonalds is shut. Mandarin Oriental cup of tea only ten quid on the 38th floor. The city and the view go on forever. Look West- is that mount Fuji? Fuji Wow part 2. Broken wallet part 238. Deserted town. Everything closed part 83. The cat cafe will have to wait. Shinjuku depression. Don't end like this! Park Hyatt screw the budget, at least it's open. Exiting the lift (who was that actor?) on the 41st floor and there she is. Mount Fuji silhouetted by an orange sunset picture postcard. I'm sorry sir, there are no window seats. Oh, hang on. Fuji wow pt.3. Wow wow wow. Stare. The blue darkens. The mini burgers disappear. Then Mt Fuji into the darkness. Annual review pt.2. Exposure. City Lights. Maxi wallet crippling Asahi. I don't care. Night walking YoYogi! Shibuya. Homeless people on the street. No! They are Apple store lucky bag customers. Space blankets. Retro futurism looks like this. Japan. Waiter replaced by vending machine. Soba noodle me up. Slurp. Towa Tei Tower Records. Shopping for music used to be like this, but without the J-Reggae. Tokyo station 2nd January. Where did all the people come from? No lockers. No last minute Tokyo anything. Plan B. Osaka here were come. Goodbye Fuji. Goodbye Nozomi. Hanyku hell, writing this. But my Hiro latte has teddy bear art on top. Last minute Mochi. Shinkansen Chopsticks. Goodbye Japan.

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